I have been in many deep conversation about love and life in the past few days. I have come to realise that only God really knows when everything will happen. This weekend instead of doing what my usaual has been and going to a bar and talking to people and eventually God comes about. Well I decided I was going to see my uncle one day and when I wanted people to call me about things they didnt but when I was busy people were calling me like crazy. It is pretty amazing work of God to be able to let the people who need help get the help. But it brings me to think about the hindu religion and how they believe in good karma. Well I dont believe that it is this so called karma. I believe if you are helping other people when its your time there will be people to help you get through this rough patch in your life. Anyway I am getting off topic.
I have been talking with some friends alot about relationships. I myself just resently broke up with my girlfriend a few weeks ago we were dating for almost 2 years. One of my mentors says he was proud of me. I felt like God was telling me Ryan if your not happy leave so its what I did. I wasnt married or had a child with her and I well the moment I got my chance I took it. One night she called me selfish because she wasnt getting to see me because I was working going to school trying to finish up an intership and just trying to get in the word every day. My internship was at my church this summer. I learned alot about what happens when people are blinded by things. But when she said I was selfish God said Ryan this is your chance to get out of living this sin and this lie you call a relationship. So I did and strange enough it worked and I have never felt so good to get out of a relationship ever.
One of my Mentors is very good at finding people soul mates. I am not lying most of his friends are together because of him. So one night we were out and he introduced me to one of the most beautiful woman I have ever seen (for me). I was stunned by her beauty I couldnt even speak I was in shock. Well ever since then my buddy has been looking unintentionally for me for the past few weeks. He said he met this lovely lady who was a believer in christ and she loved his ministries which is perfect for me lol. He is telling me about her and how she is about an 11 on a scale of 1-10. I was so shocked by this. He said Ryan this one will take time. And I thought but dont we all have to wait for the right person. My problem has always been how do you know who is right for you.
Here is the thought from a guy who has thought he has known with about 6 girls that they were the one. Well we dont really know its all from God. He puts it in our hearts when we see the person for the first time we see things that no one else does. I can tell you that I have been wrong so many times. I have made mistakes about telling someone I was close to I loved them because I wasnt in the right frame of mind. I regret that because we no longer have the close friendship we did and well I know I am dumb. But when that person comes in our life we want to never let that person go. But we know we both have lifes we have to live bills to pay and of course stuff to do. I know what my perfect significant other is like I am just waiting for god to tell me its ok to act and take that person on a date and start courting for marraige. I want to be able to haev a relationship that isnt based on extracuricular activites. Most if not all my relationships have been. I have changed that and understand its Gods will and I have to do what he wants from me. People believe life is about Sex, Drugs, Alchol and sports. Well heres a question if you think that; Why are you taking status and stake in a momentary status? But then a quick response is to have kids and get married. Which God wants us to do!! But he wants it to be biblical. THAT MEANS NO SEX BEFORE MARRAIGE!!! I am guilty of it so dont feel like I am damming you to hell if you did. We are humans when we left the garden of eden we left and open ourself up to the devil. The devil dwells and trys to tempt us all the time I know I have seen it and been through it.
To sum up when ever the question arises "How do you know?" Just think well I dont only God does. But no matter what the sittuation is we can be equiped with tools we need to follow through with things or help people in a situation. This week has been one of those weeks of was I doing the right thing and I made sure I asked god about it before I made any final judgement on things. he puts things in our lifes because he wants us to understand that he loves us and will help us in what ever we need help with. But we need to ask God is loving and all knowing we need to trust and have the holy spirt with us at all times otherwise we will father in to badness that what needs to be.
I love this. I have been struggling with the off and on questions everyday on whether or not Matt is my soul mate. I really do feel in my heart that he is, and him and I have such a history dating back to middle school! I know that Matt has been through some really, really trying times in his life, stemming from when he was a kid. But I feel that maybe God put us back together so that I could help him in some way. Matt is so incredibly intelligent that his own knowledge can be his worst enemy. He feels he is a Christian, he believes in God, but whenever I try to get him to have faith, or put something in God's hands, he is so quick to turn it away, saying that "God can't help with everyday problems" etc... I keep praying every single day that the Lord helps Matt turn his eyes up to him, to rebuke the devil from his heart and soul, to find clarity in his crazy chaotic mind, that was created from being in the service. So many things I pray for, for this Man, this Man that I love to death. That I feel I have such a connection with. My really good friend Becky told me that I unknowingly gave Matt the BEST gift ever, and that is the gift of prayer. No one has truly, whole heartedly prayed for Matt the way that I do, they way that I ask my friends to do, complete strangers, church, anyone I can think of to pray for him. I have my doubts at times, and I have the fear fill my heart when he tells me that he wants to be single, but... I know deep down inside this is the Man I am suppose to spend the rest of my life with, no matter what. I will not give up on him, regardless what he says, or thinks or anything.. Ryan, I am so sorry that I just commented a novel on your blog.. I just totally trailed off.. lol. Maybe I should start one of these thingys for myself.. hahahaha.. Don't give up hope, you will know, and I promise you will KNOW when God sends you your soul mate.. She will be everything and all you've ever dreamed of. That saying, when you stop looking, it will hit you when you least expect it.. that is so true. I prayed for God to send me my soul mate after Chris and I broke up 5 years ago, and well it took 5 years, but that's when Matt came back into my life... that right there is another reason why I can't give up on this. I let him go over 15 years ago in high school... and well, he came back to me. Hang in there doll face.. happiness is right around the corner, God knows you have other things going on right now, and when he sees the time is right, he will slip your love right in before your very eyes.. :)
ReplyDeleteYour fine I want comments like this. I know God has a plan and life will all come together.
DeleteAdam and I knew because we loved each others company without any of the physical stuff that usually goes with being in a relationship. Without the physical, we knew we loved each other and all the physical was just a bonus after we got married. That was just our decision that we made not to kiss before we were married...the most we did was hug and hold hands and it was amazing. That's just our story, I do recommend it though, it's a whole different thing than the "usual". Such a different approach. God gave us the ability to hold on off that stuff, it was amazing!! Only God can do that.
ReplyDeleteI remember you telling me that I thought it was amazing. I love the relationship you two have. I would love for God to put a relationship like that in my life and he will. But your words are encouraging. Thank you :)
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