Questions

Today there was a question that was asked of my youth group kids who I have been a leader with for about a year now. We asked how do you want to die? You should have seen the look on these kids faces I swear it looked like you asked them the all mighty question that could never be answered as if it was a math problem.  They were confused and quite shocked by the question asked. It was the first time my kids actually knew the meaning of silence.

We got some interesting answers not many though. Then I remembered a book I did a teaching on many years ago. The book was called "since nobody's perfect how good is good enough?" And like it says in this book there in lies the question. At the begining of this book the author and his sunday school kids are having a converation on how you get to heaven. So he asks he kids well wounder if I paint the church, cut the church grass every sunday, volunteer to feed the homeless, go help the elderly once a week, go cook for someone who is ill and the answer all the kids gave for every single one was NO. So he asked then how do you get to heaven? One kid raised his hand and said (Let me remind you this kids are probably about my age now when the book was written or close) "Well you have to be dead!" Well the kid is right you have to be dead. But being the generation I am I ask the question is it even possible to actually know your going there?

So here is my thought wait for it I really dont know. I know heres the thought then why are you writing this blog entry. Well cause I hope that though writting this I can figure it out.

I was having a converation today about how we know what Gods plan is and we dont. EVER. Thats the beauty of this world God has a plan but yet we dont know what that is! But I feel like God puts us on the path we are on to stabaleize our thoughts. God say hey Ryan go this way! I ask why and I feel like I get the do as I say not as I do. Or just do it cause I'm God and thats cool with me I know th power of God I dont try and test it.

So I feel like God has a plan for everything. so I guess what I have realised is that the best way to die is how God wants us to die. Its all part of this master plan he has for us. So I guess after watching the begining of the latest star trek movie I would want to dies knowing I saved people. The greatest honor would be knowing I died to save somone else from themselves. I feel like all this will happen eventually. But in the mean time I want to try and save as many people I can weather or not they are still part of my life for a reason. I feel like some people look at me like im crazy for wanting to help. The truth is I will do anything for anyone as far as I can and that is true worship.

How do you know

I have been in many deep conversation about love and life in the past few days. I have come to realise that only God really knows when everything will happen. This weekend instead of doing what my usaual has been and going to a bar and talking to people and eventually God comes about. Well I decided I was going to see my uncle one day and when I wanted people to call me about things they didnt but when I was busy people were calling me like crazy. It is pretty amazing work of God to be able to let the people who need help get the help. But it brings me to think about the hindu religion and how they believe in good karma. Well I dont believe that it is this so called karma. I believe if you are helping other people when its your time there will be people to help you get through this rough patch in your life. Anyway I am getting off topic.

I have been talking with some friends alot about relationships. I myself just resently broke up with my girlfriend a few weeks ago we were dating for almost 2 years. One of my mentors says he was proud of me. I felt like God was telling me Ryan if your not happy leave so its what I did. I wasnt married or had a child with her and I well the moment I got my chance I took it. One night she called me selfish because she wasnt getting to see me because I was working going to school trying to finish up an intership and just trying to get in the word every day. My internship was at my church this summer. I learned alot about what happens when people are blinded by things. But when she said I was selfish God said Ryan this is your chance to get out of living this sin and this lie you call a relationship. So I did and strange enough it worked and I have never felt so good to get out of a relationship ever.

One of my Mentors is very good at finding people soul mates. I am not lying most of his friends are together because of him. So one night we were out and he introduced me to one of the most beautiful woman I have ever seen (for me). I was stunned by her beauty I couldnt even speak I was in shock. Well ever since then my buddy has been looking unintentionally for me for the past few weeks. He said he met this lovely lady who was a believer in christ and she loved his ministries which is perfect for me lol. He is telling me about her and how she is about an 11 on a scale of 1-10. I was so shocked by this. He said Ryan this one will take time. And I thought but dont we all have to wait for the right person. My problem has always been how do you know who is right for you.

Here is the thought from a guy who has thought he has known with about 6 girls that they were the one. Well we dont really know its all from God. He puts it in our hearts when we see the person for the first time we see things that no one else does. I can tell you that I have been wrong so many times. I have made mistakes about telling someone I was close to I loved them because I wasnt in the right frame of mind. I regret that because we no longer have the close friendship we did and well I know I am dumb. But when that person comes in our life we want to never let that person go. But we know we both have lifes we have to live bills to pay and of course stuff to do. I know what my perfect significant other is like I am just waiting for god to tell me its ok to act and take that person on a date and start courting for marraige. I want to be able to haev a relationship that isnt based on extracuricular activites. Most if not all my relationships have been. I have changed that and understand its Gods will and I have to do what he wants from me. People believe life is about Sex, Drugs, Alchol and sports. Well heres a question if you think that; Why are you taking status and stake in a momentary status? But then a quick response is to have kids and get married. Which God wants us to do!! But he wants it to be biblical. THAT MEANS NO SEX BEFORE MARRAIGE!!! I am guilty of it so dont feel like I am damming you to hell if you did. We are humans when we left the garden of eden we left and open ourself up to the devil. The devil dwells and trys to tempt us all the time I know I have seen it and been through it.

To sum up when ever the question arises "How do you know?" Just think well I dont only God does. But no matter what the sittuation is we can be equiped with tools we need to follow through with things or help people in a situation.  This week has been one of those weeks of was I doing the right thing and I made sure I asked god about it before I made any final judgement on things. he puts things in our lifes because he wants us to understand that he loves us and will help us in what ever we need help with. But we need to ask God is loving and all knowing we need to trust and have the holy spirt with us at all times otherwise we will father in to badness that what needs to be.